Start Your Morning Off Right

Want to start your day off right?  I have the solution.  It's not hard, but I bet it will be challenging for you to do this simple thing for 30 days.

I promise you, however, if you do this for 30 days, your whole entire life WILL CHANGE.  Everything will start going your way.  Your work will be easier.  The people around you will be nicer.  Money will flow to you (if that's what you want) and love will grow in places you never dreamed!  You will embark on adventures that leave you utterly satisfied.  And most of all, you will be happier with yourself than you ever could imagine.

Every day, as soon as the alarms rings or as soon as you wake up .  . .

1. Lay on your back
2. Don't reach for any electronic device except the OFF BUTTON on the alarm.
3. Take 5 deep and calming breaths
4. List all the things you are thankful for . . . until you run out of things you can think about.
5. Ruminate on all the things you just listed for an entire minute, take 5 deep breaths again.
6. Start your day, get out of bed.

Do this every day (don't skip any days) for 30 days.

Come back and leave a comment on this post and let me know what happened to you after the 30 days.


But Telemill, what if I don't have anything to be thankful for?

• Let me help you.  You can start with these:

• I am thankful that I am alive and I woke up today

• I am thankful that I can take 5 deep breaths

• I am thankful for my bed

• I am thankful for my working alarm

• I am thankful for my loved one

• I am grateful that it is a new day

• I am grateful for the breakfast I will eat 

• I am grateful for sleeping last night

• I am grateful that the sun came up again

• I am grateful for opening my eyes this morning

• I am grateful for the air around me

• I am grateful for the warming that surrounds me

• I am thankful about the peace that is surrounding me right now

• I am grateful for the exercise

• I am thankful that I've done this exercise XX times in a row

There, that should get you started!  Don't forget to come back and let me know what happens to you after 30 days.

I'm rooting for you and wishing every success my powerful and influential friends!

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What If Opportunity Never Knocks?

If you don't hear opportunity knocking than you are not very perceptive.  Opportunity is always knocking.  The opportunities are overwhelming if your eyes are open, your ears are open and your senses are working.  

Right now, I'm frustrated because all around me are opportunities to make more money, make passive income and I can't write and research fast enough to tell you all about them. 

Open your mind!  Use your senses.  Tell yourself money is all around you, the opportunity is not just knocking on your door but thumping on your forehead.  If you don't hear the knocking, it's because you are distracted or just don't want to hear the knocking.

As my son likes to point out to me whenever I have questions about anything, "Mom, you have a whole computer in your hands." (meaning my smartphone).  Today, if you are searching for opportunity all you have to do is using your fingers on the device in your hand.  These days, you have an infinite number of resources at your disposal.  Use them!

What I'm saying is ultimately, if opportunity doesn't come knocking . . . honey, you have knuckles start knocking on doors, windows, walls until you discover your next big break.

Get started my powerful and influential friend!

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The Mirror of Life

I had a couple of jobs that I hated, just hated.  It was bad. 

I hated waking up in the morning, it was that bad. 

Whenever I thought of work the day before going to work, I would feel sick.  It was THAT bad!

It wasn't that the work was hard, difficult or un-fulfilling -- it was the environment. Actually, to tell the truth, it was the bosses.  I hated them!  Which was not like me at all because I like people.

My family laughs at me because I like people so much, I rarely see their faults.  I always have an excuse for them or I'm really sympathetic of their circumstances. I find myself explaining to my family why that person does what they do, or way they are the way they are.  And I'm afraid that I obnoxiously point that out at every turn.

But these two bosses were different, I could not stand them.  Everything they did irritated me. 

I found them irrational, emotional, always picking at at little things and letting big things fall apart.  The things they should have been concerned about they would just brush off.  They where demanding in ridiculous ways, wanting the impossible not from themselves, but from everyone around them. But what was most frustrating, was their obvious fear of their "power."  Basically, they were unsure of their power and tried to hide behind others. 

This fear manifested into forcing their "stuff" (insecurity, worry, paranoia, trust issues) onto their employees (mainly me) to manage.  While at the same time, of course, their employee's life, problems or emotions couldn't and shouldn't interfere with work.  To top it all off, they would threaten your job and would get really upset if an employee threatened to voluntarily leave.

They played this perverse game of not communicating their expectations but never apologizing when the outcomes of their actions showed evidence of this fault.  Inconsiderate of people's time, appointments and meetings schedules, especially when they clearly don't like the person.  Promise things to people and then drop the duty of fulfilling the promise onto an employee (usually me) to complete it.

All these things were really getting to me, making me hate my life.

Eventually, I had enough of this abusive life and quit.  These types of bosses seem to never actually fire anyone.  I guess the "threat" of termination is where the power is.  

In any case, it took me years after these incidents to understand that I went through this "trial by fire" to show me what I don't want.  Let me explain.

Today, I am lead over a marketing and communication department of a small organization in my community as well as CEO of my own communications company.  At this point in life, I am considering and actually hiring people to work for me and now I'm conscious of what type of boss I will am.

In helping people gain wealth, open businesses and employee people, I realize that the most successful of them have a clear idea of several things and can easily answer these questions:

1.  What type of boss do I want my people to consider me to be? 

Do I want people to think of me as fair?  Do I want my employees to "like" me?  Do I want my employees to think I have their best interest at heart?  Do I want them to respect me?  Do I want them to fear me?  Do I want them to be loyal to me?  Do I want them to think I'm intelligent? Hard-working? Professional?

 
2.  What type of atmosphere do I want for my office, my organization?

Do I want a "fun" office atmosphere where everyone is always smiling and being creative?
Do I want a "quiet" office atmosphere where everyone is focused?  Do I want a laid-back environment or a conservative environment?  Will the office be noisy?  Busy?  Somber? Will it be colorful or tastefully conservative?  Will there be plants all around?  Will it be open concept or will people have offices?   


3.  In my ideal dreams, what would my organization "look like" or "be like"?

Will it be big or small? Will it be structured traditionally with me at the top with a corner office and everyone subordinate to me?  Will it be team-driven where titles mean nothing and projects are the prime focus?  Will it be diverse?  Will it represent the community it is in?  


These questions really matter.  It not only matters toward your success, because seriously, if you can envision it, then you can DO it!  It matters toward your LIFE and the LIFE of the people that will be around you.  Let's face it, the bosses I hated were not getting "the best" out of their employees and truly dampened their potential.  This was all because these bosses could not look inward and deal with their issues, so their issues leaked out in their work.  Working with them was simply a waste of energy and a waste of time.  And frankly, it just opened the door for other organizations to swoop up good employees (yes, I'm a GREAT employee, if I do say so myself) and help skyrocket these other company's success, gains and efforts by doing so.

I am truly grateful for my "bad boss" experiences.  It puts me in check for my next grand moves in hiring, supervising and succeeding with my employees.  But the key to my success will be . . . the work I did BEFORE the employees came on board.  Answering the three questions above and looking in that mirror of life asking myself "What kind of boss will I be?"

Look in the mirror.  What kind of boss will you be?

Take this Quiz:  What Kind of Boss Are You?





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What to Look for Along Your Path Toward Your Destination

We have to stop focusing on what is going on in our lives right now.  All the many problems, crisis, what we need, what we don't have, obstacles, etc.  The point is, just because you don't have all the pieces to make your dream come true, doesn't mean that you won't discover all the tools you need as you travel down your path.  

In other words, don't let your condition today, stop you from what you can gain tomorrow.  

If you really want something, go ahead, embark on the journey.  Begin.  You will be surprised what you will find as you are walking down that path.  

One time, I remember taking a walk with one of my grandmother's good friends who liked to hike in the wilderness.  I was a young kid of around 10 or 11.  And the old man loved walking the large state parks that surrounded our area, but he was getting to old to be wandering around alone.  I thought I was doing this old man a favor, when in fact he was doing me the favor.  He was teaching me how life worked . . . simply by walking with me.  

He had decided that we would walk the path on Wild Cat Canyon.  The area was named well, for there were sightings every now and then of big wildcats in that area during bad weather events such as drought. As we started our walk and entered the thicker trees, he stopped for a moment finding a long piece of wood about 2 inches thick and as tall as he was.  He told me to keep a look out for a piece of wood about my height.  A few steps further and we found one to fit me.  I remember listening to the birds and the thunk, thunk, thunk that his staff made as he walked.  I soon used my staff to make harmonizing beats . . . thunk, thunk, thunk.  While he quietly talked and we walked, I noticed that he would stop and bend down every now and then and pick up smooth, heavy rocks and put them in his pocket.  Soon we came to a stream and he told me the best way to find streams, to always find pathways along streams when hiking, how to gather water, what to look for in streams for clean water, how to hold and clean water if you don't have fire to sterilize it and many more things about finding water in the wilderness.  We came across some berries that birds were joyfully eating and he told me how to know when these types of berries were good to eat and proceeded to tell me about roots that are also eatable. 

As we walked, I realized the lesson I was learning.  We started the path with absolutely nothing that would be helpful along this journey.   Identification cards, money, and communication devices are not helpful in the middle of a state park.  What one needs on THIS PATH is . . . . (1) A WALKING STICK, which has many uses.  It can help you walk when you get tired or if you injure yourself during the walk.  You can use it to make noise as you walk to warn animals of your arrival and allow them time to clear a path (thunk, thunk, thunk).  Or, it can be used as a defense mechanism in case you meet up with an aggressive beast (non-human or human).  (2) STONES, another defense mechanism but this one can be used as a long-range defense system.  If we had met up with an actual wildcat or other aggressive creature, a good throw of a stone could save your life.  (3) WATER, if you become lost or injured you will need water, a person can live without food but they can not live without water.  Water is necessary for survival.  (4) FOOD or survival and energy.  Pick the wrong thing to eat and you can poison yourself.  

Notice, that we had none of those things at the beginning of our journey, but we found all those things along our journey. This is how life works.  You rarely begin a journey with all the resources you need.  The most efficient journeys use resources along the way. 

In essence, being prepared is not the same has having everything you think you need for the journey.  Being prepared is knowing what you need to finish the job.  My friend knew that if we were going to walk safely through Wild Cat Canyon, we would need a walking stick, some heavy stones, water and a source of food (if we were gonna walk longer than a day).  He was prepared, because he knew WHAT TO LOOK FOR ALONG THE PATH.  Most people think you are prepared if you are holding everything you need and will not start the journey unless they have packed everything.  What most people think is what stops us from reaching our goals.

You will find what you need on the path to your destination.  You just have to be aware of what you need before embarking on our journey so you recognize the tool/resource when you see it.  Now that you know the secret . . . begin your journey today!


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Your Environment and Circumstances . . .

The other day, one of my friends asked me if I really believed some of the things I write about.  In particular that one's environment and circumstances are a reflection of one's thoughts.  He went on and on pointing out all the obvious reasons why I should discount this belief that I espouse.  

He pointed out that I was born on the lower-economic echelon of Great American economic ladder; that I was African-American and a female in a male dominated world; my education was not the best; I know very few people of influence; I was the statistical fatherless child growing up --  the list went on and on.

Yes, I agreed, all those things are true.  And most people would be angry at all the unfair treatment that a little black girl from the poor side of town, who didn't know her father, received on a regular basis all through her life.  But, I had a whole extended family  of 30+ people who loved and supported me.  My primary education wasn't the best, but I pushed myself through college and hold a degree in a field that I love.  Through hard work and money management skills, I'm no longer in the lower levels of the economic ladder.  And I'm part of a wonderful nuclear family that has a dedicated mommy and daddy and three bright kids. I do the work that I love.  And all through my trials and tribulations I have had wonderful friends, family and fans of my work that keep me motivated and smiling on a daily basis.

Yes, the world can be rough and brutal and I've seen some really messed up stuff and people have done some terrible things to me and near me, but I can still hold on to the principal that your mindset determines the condition of your environment and your circumstances.

Shaking his head, he still could not understand how this could be.  How I could think this way . . . so, I told him a story. That made this very clear to him, I think.


 There is an old fairy story about the Sun and Earthly Creatures.

One day, the Sun was listening to some earthly creatures 

talking about a very dark place they had found. A place of 

deep, dark abyss. A Stygian darkness, of gloom and 

forbidding. Each creature told how terrifically horrible and

dark the place had seemed. They went on and on about this 

place they had found, describing it in great detail.

Curious, the Sun went and looked for this place. He went to 

the exact spot they had described. He searched 

EVERYWHERE, but he could not find even a tiny shadowy 

spot.

He came back to tell the earth creatures he couldn't find it, 

and in fact, he did not believe there was any dark place.

For you see, we only see our reflection - the energy we give 

off. Darkness is the absence of light. Evil is merely the 

absence of good.

BE THE SUN my friend.

P.S. I failed to point out to my friend one thing on his list that was very, very wrong. I DO know people of influence and power.  YOU!  Stay powerful and influential my friends!



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Don't Wait

Believe me, you will never be ready.  There is always one more thing that needs to be done before you are completely ready. This can halt your progress indefinitely.  Instead, trust in yourself and begin NOW.  Make improvements as you go along. But don't give yourself the opportunity to talk yourself out of your progress.

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When you do the thing you love to do . . .

When you do the thing you love to do, just because you love doing it . . . .

Amazing things happen.

Don't stop yourself from doing you calling.  Do it just for the joy of it.  Do it just because it brings joy to the people around you.  Do it.  And then, see what happens.
You may be utterly surprised!

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Try something new

I hate trying new things.  It only cascades into doing even more new things to support the first new thing that I just did.  

Before you know it, I'll be doing all kinds of things that are out of my comfort level.  Soon, I'll be surrounded by waters that feel, look and taste very, very foreign.  And then I will get that panicky fearful feeling of "what the heck have I done, how did I get back onto shore?  I'm gonna drown!"

But here is the question we neglect to ask ourselves: "Were you happy with your life the way it was?"  Let's examine this concept further:  Were you happy with your life when things felt familiar and safe?  When you could predict, like clockwork, just what is going to happen next?  Were you happy with the direction of your life?  

No?

Then you've gotten into this mess because you want a new vision for your life.  And that new vision for your life, your situation, your success is clearly no where near the safe, predictable things you have mastered.  If it were, you'd have that success, situation or life by now.

How bad do you want to live the life of your dreams?  How bad do you want to just have some different opportunities in life?  Then do that new thing.  You've explored the old, safe stuff thoroughly.  The things you want are no where near the vicinity of the old stuff, right?

Continue on my friend.  Do a "new" things today, right now. Even if it makes you feel like you're drowning.  If you keep moving, you'll soon master treading in unfamiliar waters.

In the comments below, tell me the NEW thing you are doing today.  I'm really interested!


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The little things are BIG

Let's pretend. Imagine that you visit the doctor tomorrow and he tells you that you only have three days to live -- 72 hours.  What would you do first?  Who would you visit? Where would you visit?  Who would you talk to and spend time with?  What would you do that you've always wanted to do?  How would you fill those 72 hours?

Would you go to work?  Would you cut someone off on the freeway?  Would you stand in line for 30 minutes at the grocery store? The bank? Would you call someone and argue with them?  Would you spend hours with people who don't like you and you them? Would you go to the gym? Would you watch court shows on TV all day long?  Would you watch sports on TV all day long?

If I had only 72 hours to  live, I would want to be with the people I love the most.  I would want to make sure my affairs are in order.  I would want to make love one last time. I would want to give money to a desperate and needy person.  I would like to fly to Hawaii and watch the sun set on the blue shores of the island.  I would want to have a huge party and invite only people who like to laugh and have fun. I would want to write.  I would want to let every person who has helped me know how much I appreciate them and how much they changed my life.  I would like to know that I changed someone else's life for the better.  

Funny, all the things I didn't do today.  

Sad but true, the things that mean the most to us--we don't do.  What kind of life is that? A sad life where we don't comprehend that: the little things we do are actually big parts of our lives and they mean the most.  

Start doing the little things my friend.  At the end of your life, you'll be much more satisfied.

Pay attention to the little things.  Be powerful and influential my friends.

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What's Good for the Soul

What do you love doing the most?  What is the thing that you do that makes you feel REALLY, REALLY good inside?  

Do you like to draw?  
Do you like to write?  
Do you like to make furniture? 
Do you love sewing?  
Do you love sports? 
Do you love fixing things? 
Do you love to dance? 
Do you like making videos? 
Do you love creating exotic looks with make-up?  
Do you love cutting hair?  
Do you love coding?  
Do you love animals?  
Do you love working with children? 
Do you love rock climbing? 

Do you love _____________________________________________(fill in the blank).

Then DO it.  Right now.  Today.  Stop reading this blog and do that thing or make plans to do that thing.  Sure you have obligations that take up a lot of your time . . . family, work, etc. But there are ways you can do the thing that you like doing.  Schedule it into your day, week or month if you have to. Block out some time in your calendar and title it: "Very Important Appointment/Mandatory".  

Your mind and soul deserve some type of joy.  Make it a priority to regularly get some.

Just a note:  I'm really curious about the things that make people happy and the many talents that we have.  Please, in the comment section below, let me know what thing gives you JOY.  What thing you would do every day if given a chance.

Stay powerful and influential my friends!


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Don't Forget to Make a Life

I used to think these sayings were a bunch of crap.  Coming from an "impoverished" childhood and background, my mindset immediately went to: Well, you can't have much of a life if you are starving to death or you don't have a roof over your head.  

It was like I was always defensive about the amount of time work took over the rest of my day/the rest of my life.  Of course work takes up the majority of you day, right?  And there's nothing you can do about it if you want to sleep, eat and live the other 14 hours of your day in some sort of comfort, right?

It took me until this great age to realize that what the message was saying was to not let work consume you until you "convince yourself" there is no time for the other things that you love.  Make what you love a priority, even if you are forced to be at work and not do the thing you love.  I mean, seriously, you can be at work and still think about, enjoy, plan, participate in the things you love most.

Let me give you an example of what I'm talking about.  Say there is a woman who wants to be a writer--I mean, she just loves to write and tell stories.  But, and here's the kicker, she's a single mother with with two kids.  She manages to have some reliable child care, but she has two jobs. Here's the messed up part, she has two part-time jobs that add up to--not the usually 8 hours a day, but 10 hours a day--and commute times that's really 12 hours a day.  

With this scenario, most people would say, "there goes her dream."  I mean, with two jobs, two kids and no spouse to help out, she's got to let go of something right?  The easiest thing to let go of is her dream of becoming a writer. 

That's where the motto: Don't Forget to Make a Life comes in.

Let's suppose that she refuses to give up the thing that she loves in all of life, the thing that makes her feel really good about herself.  The thing that makes her complete.  Let's suppose she schedules out her day.  

The schedule:  She wakes up an hour early at 5AM.  Gets herself cleaned up, dressed for work, and gives herself a 15 minute block of time to write.  Fixes breakfast for three, wakes the kids up at 6:15AM, feeds them and gets them dressed.  Out of the house by 7AM.  Drops them off at child care between 7:15-7:30AM.  Elects to take the bus or train to work, public transportation takes 25 minutes to get to work.  The great thing about public transportation is you don't have to drive which allows her 25 minutes to write.  Get's to work at 8:05AM.  She gets a 20 minute break at work . . . she writes on her break.  She gets off first job, she already prepared her lunch the night before, eats it on her way to next job while taking the train and writing all the way.  On her next job, she gets another 20 minute break, she writes.  She writes while commuting home, another 25 minutes.  Her mother or best friend picked up the kids from daycare four hours ago.  She spends some quality time with her kids before they go to bed.  She takes 45 minutes to prepare lunches, pick out clothes for the next day, take a shower and then for the next hour she writes. It's 11PM and lights out because she has to wake up at 5AM tomorrow, again.

Crazy and busy day, right?  But guess what?  She got 3 hours of writing in that day!  Most people with time on their hands barely get 3 hours of writing into one day. Sure she's tired.  Sure, that's a difficult way to "live her dreams and make time to have a life that she wants and enjoys."  But at least she's living it, right? She found a way.

But that's what this quote means.  Make time to LIVE your life.  Make time.  Make time to call your friends and have a great conversation at least once a week.  If you have to schedule it into your busy schedule, than do that.  Make time for your family, and guard that time from other obligations aggressively.  If you have to say "No" to someone, to money, to opportunity, to sleep, to whatever . . . so what, make the time!  

The key to a great life is figuring out what matters to you . . . and then, do that damn thing!  No matter what it takes.

That's what "Don't Forget to Make a Life" truly means. Figure out what matters to you and at all costs . . . do it!  On this, I know, you will never regret.

Stay powerful and influential my friends.

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What scares you?

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14 Reasons You Know It Is Time To Quit Your Job

1.  When a four day weekend is not enough.

2.  When your kids have a week long school break and suddenly, you wish you were in middle school again.

3.  When you get that sinking feeling every Sunday night at 11:05PM without looking at a clock.

4. If your boss's favorite band is Venom. (Their hit song is: Welcome to Hell)

5.  When you say in your head (referring to your boss) "If she says that one more time . . ."

6.  If you walk into the office 20 minutes early and you're still sweating.

7.  If lunch time is the height of your day.

8.  If your  bathroom breaks start being longer than 20 minutes.

9.  Three executives turn in their resignations on the same day and scream out "See you later sucka's!" as they burn rubber out of the parking lot.

10. Every time you see a 4 x 8.5 inch piece of pink paper you jump out of your skin.

11.  You overhear the word "bankruptcy" in hushed tones at the monthly Executive Team Meeting.

12.   You saw your boss naked by the recycled packing peanuts - you didn't stay long enough to find out why.

13.  You did a stripper pole dance at the company's holiday party, have no recollection of event, but discovered footage on YouTube (you got 15,499 views though!).

14.  You have this unyielding yearning and urge to follow your dream and time is running out.

All of these are really good reasons to quit your job.  But number 14 is the best reason.  

Don't be a chump.  You would most likely have your resume in circulation for any of the reasons numbered 1-13.  Don't disregard 14.  

You are worthy of following and fulfilling your dreams.  And okay, maybe you can't see your life without a job that pays the bills.  Maybe you don't actually believe that your dream could sustain you and your family.  That's fine, believe that for now.  Then at every waking moment of your life, outside of your job and immediate obligations . . . work toward your dream.  Every minute you can, even if it's only 30 minutes a day.  A little progress is . . . guess what? . . .progress! 

So today, promise me.  Even it's imaginary.  Even if it's in your head.  Quit your job.  And grab onto your dream.


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When you feel like you just can't . . .

 There is always a way...

I tell my children all the time: there is always another way.  If you want to achieve something know this, there will always be obstacles in the way.  There will always be challenges. There will always be the excuse of not enough time, not enough money, not enough knowledge, not enough energy.  Don't let those obstacles matter . . . there is always a way! 

Doing something about it . . . no matter how un-optimal the situation or the resources.  No matter how humble the environment.  No matter how penniless you are.  Do something.  That something is still progress. 

Look at that picture above  . . . look at it.  That's progress!

Take a step toward your dream today.  No matter what obstacles lay ahead, stay strong my powerful and influential friends.

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Having a bad day? Put this on repeat . . .

Had a day when I was full of doubt.  I put this video on repeat and REALLY listened to it.  It's important to put motivational thoughts in your brain - constantly!  Constantly!  If you are having a bad day, watch or listen to this.


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Do me a favor . . . Click one of the icons below and share this article with friends! Leave a COMMENT by clicking on the little orange "comment" below right by "written by Telemill" notation.