Tuesday, October 29, 2013

You don't need to like me, that's my job

Whenever you let someone else give you value you lose confidence.

                    ~ Ralph Smart (founder of Infinite Waters YouTube Channel)

I could just kick myself.  How many years did it take for me to realize that my job -- my only real job on this planet -- is to "like myself." 

It's not someone else job . . . and wanting someone else to like you so much that it gives you a feeling of value, is selfishly demanding that other people DO YOUR JOB!  You are a lazy bum, asking other people to do your work! And we all know that no one else, can do your job better than you.  Seriously.  

And we get mad at people because they don't do our job better than we do it.  We sit back, truly upset and hurt because people don't see our value, don't give us awards or rewards, don't acknowledge us.  How silly.  Of course they don't value, reward or acknowledge us, it's not their job to do so.  It's our job to do it for our own damned selves!

Yes, I know.  I can hear you with your many questions:

Why is it important that you "like"  or "love" yourself?
When you love yourself you take back your life, you take back your power.  When you like or love yourself, you have room to love and like others.  When you are waiting for the approval of others, you are wasting energy that you could used for better things.  When you like yourself, it's much easier to let go of society's expectations. When you let go of society's expectations, you are free to develop your own expectations --which are much more satisfying expectations, believe me. In essence, liking yourself sets you free. 

Ok, so how do you "like" or "love" yourself?
Accept "who you are" today, with all your faults and problems.  In fact, all those faults and imperfections make you the unique person that you are.  Embrace your uniqueness.  Don't believe me?  Okay. Think of someone you really loved and admired that are no longer in your life for whatever reason . . . you graduated and are no longer in touch, they moved away, they died. Think of the most memorable thing about them.  Now think of the most funny thing about them.  I bet somewhere in those memories, there is something that one might label a "fault".  But in your mind it is the most endearing thing about them, the most unique, the thing that made them . . . them.  

This was expressed really well by Robin Williams in this movie clip from Good Will Hunting:

What are the steps I need to take to like myself?
Easy, find the thing that is the most productive thing you like to do that makes you happy.  
What do you like to do?:  
  • Do you like to building things?  
  • Do you like football?  
  • Do you like to write? 
  • Do you like to sing?  
  • Do you like to make things beautiful?  
  • Do you like taking care of people?  
What makes you your most happiest?  Whatever it may be, make time for it.  My grandmother used to say that we are all creators, that we all inherited the "creator" gene from God and we are the happiest when we are creating. Doing what you like to do most, is "creating", is "joy" is being closest to "who you where meant to be."  Stop comparing yourself to others and work on what makes you like yourself.  That's the first, and really, only step to liking yourself.

Liking yourself is very, very, important.  Because once you like yourself, you can be yourself.  You don't mind your own company.  People are always giving the advice to "be yourself," but if you can't stand yourself, if you don't like the person you are, if you don't like your own company (your inner thoughts, your imperfections, your life, the things you do, etc.) how in the hell can you stand to be with yourself!  

You have to like yourself to be able to tolerate yourself to be able to be yourself!

Weird.  Yet, simple and common sense at the same time.

So, ultimately.  My job is to give value to myself.
To give value to myself, I have to acknowledge and accept all the good that I am, all the bad that I am and all the imperfections that I have.
I have to get to know myself and then get to "liking" myself.
I need to get comfortable with myself and enjoy my own company.
I need to do my job . . . and learn to like myself.

Like this article? Then you will probably like these articles too: 

Dancing in the Rain

2 Simple Steps to Making Yourself Happy

Everyone is Amazing

What People Think of You is None of Your Business! 

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