Friday, November 2, 2018

The Mirror of Life

I had a couple of jobs that I hated, just hated.  It was bad. 

I hated waking up in the morning, it was that bad. 

Whenever I thought of work the day before going to work, I would feel sick.  It was THAT bad!

It wasn't that the work was hard, difficult or un-fulfilling -- it was the environment. Actually, to tell the truth, it was the bosses.  I hated them!  Which was not like me at all because I like people.

My family laughs at me because I like people so much, I rarely see their faults.  I always have an excuse for them or I'm really sympathetic of their circumstances. I find myself explaining to my family why that person does what they do, or way they are the way they are.  And I'm afraid that I obnoxiously point that out at every turn.

But these two bosses were different, I could not stand them.  Everything they did irritated me. 

I found them irrational, emotional, always picking at at little things and letting big things fall apart.  The things they should have been concerned about they would just brush off.  They where demanding in ridiculous ways, wanting the impossible not from themselves, but from everyone around them. But what was most frustrating, was their obvious fear of their "power."  Basically, they were unsure of their power and tried to hide behind others. 

This fear manifested into forcing their "stuff" (insecurity, worry, paranoia, trust issues) onto their employees (mainly me) to manage.  While at the same time, of course, their employee's life, problems or emotions couldn't and shouldn't interfere with work.  To top it all off, they would threaten your job and would get really upset if an employee threatened to voluntarily leave.

They played this perverse game of not communicating their expectations but never apologizing when the outcomes of their actions showed evidence of this fault.  Inconsiderate of people's time, appointments and meetings schedules, especially when they clearly don't like the person.  Promise things to people and then drop the duty of fulfilling the promise onto an employee (usually me) to complete it.

All these things were really getting to me, making me hate my life.

Eventually, I had enough of this abusive life and quit.  These types of bosses seem to never actually fire anyone.  I guess the "threat" of termination is where the power is.  

In any case, it took me years after these incidents to understand that I went through this "trial by fire" to show me what I don't want.  Let me explain.

Today, I am lead over a marketing and communication department of a small organization in my community as well as CEO of my own communications company.  At this point in life, I am considering and actually hiring people to work for me and now I'm conscious of what type of boss I will am.

In helping people gain wealth, open businesses and employee people, I realize that the most successful of them have a clear idea of several things and can easily answer these questions:

1.  What type of boss do I want my people to consider me to be? 

Do I want people to think of me as fair?  Do I want my employees to "like" me?  Do I want my employees to think I have their best interest at heart?  Do I want them to respect me?  Do I want them to fear me?  Do I want them to be loyal to me?  Do I want them to think I'm intelligent? Hard-working? Professional?


2.  What type of atmosphere do I want for my office, my organization?

Do I want a "fun" office atmosphere where everyone is always smiling and being creative?

Do I want a "quiet" office atmosphere where everyone is focused?  Do I want a laid-back environment or a conservative environment?  Will the office be noisy?  Busy?  Somber? Will it be colorful or tastefully conservative?  Will there be plants all around?  Will it be open concept or will people have offices?   

3.  In my ideal dreams, what would my organization "look like" or "be like"?

Will it be big or small? Will it be structured traditionally with me at the top with a corner office and everyone subordinate to me?  Will it be team-driven where titles mean nothing and projects are the prime focus?  Will it be diverse?  Will it represent the community it is in?  

These questions really matter.  It not only matters toward your success, because seriously, if you can envision it, then you can DO it!  It matters toward your LIFE and the LIFE of the people that will be around you.  Let's face it, the bosses I hated were not getting "the best" out of their employees and truly dampened their potential.  This was all because these bosses could not look inward and deal with their issues, so their issues leaked out in their work.  Working with them was simply a waste of energy and a waste of time.  And frankly, it just opened the door for other organizations to swoop up good employees (yes, I'm a GREAT employee, if I do say so myself) and help skyrocket these other company's success, gains and efforts by doing so.

I am truly grateful for my "bad boss" experiences.  It puts me in check for my next grand moves in hiring, supervising and succeeding with my employees.  But the key to my success will be . . . the work I did BEFORE the employees came on board.  Answering the three questions above and looking in that mirror of life asking myself "What kind of boss will I be?"

Look in the mirror.  What kind of boss will you be?

Take this Quiz:  What Kind of Boss Are You?

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